4:37 AM

If you are curious about the title of this post, let me clarify it is most definitely 4:37 AM. Why I am awake? I wish I had the answer for the both of us. Unfortunately, I have not had the luxury of getting any sleep tonight/morning. Of course, on top of the lack of sleep, I am sick with a dreadful cough and a full day of classes tomorrow (9 to 2:45 with two 15 minute breaks). Needless to say this is going to be a long day. 

Today, it is also supposed to "slush". I am not entirely sure what this term means, but I have a feeling I'm not going to enjoy the situation walking between buildings in cheap boots and without a coat. 

I have been on quite a mini mission for a coat, but as usual...Miss Sarah Elizabeth is being the most picky individual to set foot on planet Earth. The weather situation has been fine thus far, but if this slushing business is a regularity I could be in trouble...

Enough about the weather...

For the past few weeks I've been trying to get settled in my apartment, by you know making it homey and stuff. It's been a bit of a disaster. The place hasn't changed much since I've moved in and I'm really struggling to make it my own. 7 Provenceweg just isn't feeling like home. I know it takes time, but it's almost been a month and I still feel sneaky when I go into the bathroom in the morning to shower. This is a problem. 

Many of the students in the program (myself included) have been feeling a little down lately. We can't really describe it. We're not sad, a little mopey maybe but there is no real reason as to why we are feeling like this. A little bit of homesickness is definitely a key factor, but as much as we miss our dear friends and family there is no where we would rather be than in Tübingen. When talking to Kaila about these odd emotions, she introduced a perfect word...her and her friends back home call this "scud". It's like the Limbo of emotions.

Don't get me wrong, I am SO happy in Tübingen. Just getting a little worn out trying to find my bearings. Since leaving the host family, every aspect of comfort has been removed from my life. I'm in this vast world of unknowns and I really don't know how to cope. So on Saturday, sick as a dog, I went wandering around downtown trying to find some comfort. Naturally, I navigated to a book store and in the teensie weensie English section I found exactly what I needed, "Eat, Pray, Love". Sure, I'm not thirty or newly divorced or crying on my bathroom floor night after night, but on a certain level my situation is EXACTLY the same. I'm 20 years old, living in Germany trying to learn an incredibly hard language and find myself why trying to experience every aspect of the European world around me. I guess I just needed a little more assurance that I wasn't alone. 

In addition to "Eat, Pray, Love" I had a steal. I got "Pride and Prejudice" for 2.90 Euro. So that's next on the list. My next purchase, "Mary Poppins" in German of course. Nothing like a little childhood when you're feeling lost and lonely. Plus, what better way to learn German?

This whole growing up thing is hard, and as much as I want to hurry up and be done with it, right now I wish it would all just kind of slow down. 

So now it is 4:57 AM and the sleep is still escaping me. Luckily, the cough has subsided, but I don't have class until 9. I hope all of you get a wonderful night's rest and have enough dreams for the both of us.